Hi my name is Mark Mc Gee. I’m 19 years old and I’m from County Donegal, Ireland. I wanted to write this to share this part of my life with others in hope that it will help with a difficult time in their life.
Its October 11
th which means that today is
National Coming Out Day it also means that yesterday was
World Mental Health Day. Its inspired me to write this on both topics, although its hard and scary I’ve jumped over so many hurdles in my life now that have shaped who I am today.
Growing up, I was always
that friendly boy in school that was surrounded by friends and family. I always
had a smile on my face and was making jokes or laughing with friends. I was always afraid to
tell people I was gay growing up, it was always something people didn’t talk a
lot about. There were never any role models to look up too within my
community, it was always Football players and Country singers.
Even though some people seem happy all the time, maybe check up with them even if its just asking them how they are or if there's anything you can help with. I experienced this today I think for the first time from a stranger I was standing next too, the feeling was so powerful that he noticed that something may have been wrong and just wanted to ask if I was okay
I knew at the early
stages of discovering myself that I was different. I thought different meant
that I was becoming someone I shouldn’t be, someone no one will love, someone
that would never be accepted.
At these early stages
depression hits and you start to think the worst of yourself and every
situation, this is probably the first time I had suffered from suicidal
thoughts. Yes, feeling like I’m too different to live in this world, ashamed to
be thinking anything other than “the norm”.
Too many people are taking their lives. Suicide is the leading cause of death in young men in Ireland aged 15-34. Some of those deaths are undoubtedly linked to homophobia and mental health. All I'm asking is that if you're feeling this way, or alone anytime reach out to anyone.
Giving up was always a
last resort for me, I understand how hard it is when you’re at rock bottom, but no matter what you can get through it. Talk to someone anyone
because they are willing to help and listen. The number of people I grew up with, that I could have said something too about what I was going through that I now know would have been there to help. Just like for me, actually saying and talking openly about being gay is one of the hardest things I’ve been through. I know asking for help when you need it most is hard, just always know someone has been in your situation and they have gotten through it.
Looking back, I didn’t
want everyone to know that I’m gay, I wanted to fit in just like everyone else
did so I swept my feelings and emotions under the carpet and kept them there
all through high school.
Going through school
was hard, you have so much pressure to follow along this path, getting yourself
out there, jumping in and out of relationships, having people
always wonder why you don’t go around kissing girls like every other guy. I thought coming out in school was a bad idea, that people would treat me differently and that they would react a certain being around me.
Coming out was extremely
hard and emotional for me, I came out to my family while working in America
over the summer. It took me two months to put everything I wanted to say into
six pages of an A4 refill pad, countless drafts later and I finally sent it off
in the mail back to my family in Ireland. It contains my struggle growing up,
much like the post I’m writing now just in a lot more detail. The amount of support I got from my family after I came out was unbelievable, I was shocked that they all took it so well.
A month after I came out to my family I messaged all of my friends telling them I was gay. The responses I got from them were full of love saying how proud they are, how much they love me, that the cant express the respect they have and how they are just proud of how comfortable I was telling them.
If I got through this then you can too, if you know or think someone is in the same situation just let them know that you're there to help. It may take some time for them to open up and talk but just the fact that you're there is all they need. It’s made a big difference that my family and friends accept me. I never cared about the approval of strangers to be who I am, you just have to embrace yourself and
be proud of who you are no matter what. The arrival of equal marriage in Ireland last year helped, it gained so much attention to the subject and the support the LGBT+ community got from Ireland was amazing.
Here's some proof out there that you're not alone;
- This is an article on NewNowNext.com written on 16 famous folk who have come out since last Coming Out Day, these include actors, musicians, athletes, politicians, and more.
- The next article on MTV.co.uk is all about World Mental Health Day (October 10th). They take a look 11 celebrities who have spoken out about their own mental health.
Stay strong, it does get better,
Mark x
